The Faker Among Us
by Miz-KTakase
Summary: Welcome to Tales of the Bizarre San-Kyuu! Fitting for this number, as Hatsune Miku and friends parody a classic episode of "The Twilight Zone", complete with ALL 6 Vocaloids. OH! and Gumi's in it, too... unfortunately. Anyway, when an unknown space object lands on Earth, footprints lead to a huge discovery. But what? Rated K-Plus for mild language.


It was a dark and snowy night, as two police officers in long black hair, was examining the snowy area. From what they hear, that the tops of the trees, south of where they're standing, were knocked down.

"See anything?" The first policewoman said.

The second replied, "Nope. Only the tops of the trees were knocked down. Whatever it was, it plummeted downward, _that way_. It's probably stuck in the ice, until spring."

"Meteor, perhaps. I better phone in. Said some woman was about to call the National Guard."

She went to the police car and went to her EB Radio, contacting the National Guard, "This is 118-3A. 118-3A. Reporting a checkout."

The radio answered, "Go ahead."

She explained, "Checking out a report on an unidentified flying object. Supposed to have landed in the area of 39th Street. Appears to have cut off some of the top tips off the fir trees, and came down into the pond. We can't see it now!"

As she was contacting the headquarters, the second police officer examined a small spot, which showed small footprints in the snow. She called out, "JILL!"

Jill said to the radio, "Hold on a sec."

She called out, "Yeah?"

The other policewoman said, "There are footprints up here! They got out of the pond… but looks like whatever landed here, must've walked out of the water."

Jill said to the radio, "Uh, there appears to evidence… but we'll call you back, with further details."

"What was that?" The radio asked.

"Well, we found some new evidence, but we may contact you for more. Not sure what the detail of this is."

"All right, Hatchet. But there's some talk of a bridge going on, over here. Whenever you can, make sure to examine that bridge, to make sure it's posted and blocked off. It's enough ice jammed against it to cool off the Hot Springs in Cairo."

"Roger and out." She signed off, as she rushed to her partner, examining the footprints. The second policewoman said, "No doubt about it. It left this pond, and headed over to that diner, down yonder."

Jill examined the bus, from far away, as it was parked next to a diner, which says on the huge sign " _Hatsune's Diner_ ". He asked her partner, "Why it's a huge transport bus! You don't suppose it came out of that pond, do you?"

"Very funny."

"Sorry about that. Let's leave the car here, and follow these tracks. I want to be sure they lead to the diner."

They followed the footprints, and headed to _Hatsune's Diner_.

* * *

 _Wintry February Night… the Present. Order of events: a phone call of a frightened woman, notating the arrival of an unidentified flying object, then the checkout you just witnessed, with two police officers verifying the event – but with nothing more enlightening to add beyond evidence of some tracks leading across the digital highway, to a nearby diner. You've heard of the expression "trying to find the needle in the haystack"? Well, stay with us, are you read on, as you will be a part of an investigating team, whose mission is no to find the proverbial needle. No, their task is even harder.  
They've got to find a faker in a diner, from outer space. And in just a moment, you'll search with them._

* * *

 ** _Tales of the Bizarre #39:  
The Faker Among Us  
(Starring Hatsune Miku and Friends)_**

* * *

The two officers continued to trot along the snowy night, arriving at the café. They arrived to find six people in the café. One was male with blue hair, eating an ice cream sundae, wearing a bus driver's uniform. Another is female, in short brown hair, wearing a red revealing blouse and skirt, with an ample chest. She was drinking coffee, and smoking a cigarette. Two kids, one male and one female, with blonde hair, were wearing winter apparel, both with yellow and black colors. The girl in blonde also has a white bow on. The girl in long pink hair was sitting in the booth, having some tea, while the clerk, in long green pigtails, wearing a white apron, with a leek imprinted on it, was cleaning the dishes.

"Whose bus is that?" Hatchet called out.

The man in blue hair said, "Mine. What's the problem?"

The policewoman said, "The bridge up there, down the street, has been declared impassable, for the moment. Ice floe stacked up against it. Another pound of it, and this bridge is driftwood."

The driver said, "Shame. Can't go around and turn back. There's a slide up there, in the turnoff. Blocked the whole road."

The girl in the counter said, "Looks like you're marooned."

Hatchet said, "Until morning, anyway."

The girl in pink cried, "Until morning?! I have to be in Hokkaido, by 9am!"

The driver said, "Then you better start walking, Miss. Because the bus stays here, until the bridge is fixed. Well, either that, or have yourself a proper pair of snowshoes."

Hatchet said, "Well, we'll get all comfortable, and get a little hot food in you."

The woman in pink roared, as she was furious, "Oh, that's great little consolation! And that could be a perfect excuse to miss my meeting in Hokkaido!"

She said to the driver, "That's a little bus route you got there! They care so much about their schedules, don't they?"

The driver said, "I don't control the weather, ma'am. They have no control for the snow, the bridges, the side of the hills, that's decided to come down. It's out of their hands."

The policewoman was startled, as the cops stared down at everyone. Hatchet said to her partner, "You don't think…"

The clerk asked, "What is the problem, officer? Looking for somebody?"

She asked the driver, "Driver, do you have a passenger manifest?"

"Passenger manifest?" The driver asked, "What do you think I got out there, a Bullet Train? Miss, that's a 14-year old bus, and business is lousy! My boss would run sake on it, if there was a profit for it! I don't ask for the passengers' names! We kiss them gently, and help them step inside."

"But do you know how many you had?"

He said, "Well… four. Had to deliver these fine people. I picked four, and I'm supposed to deliver four."

"Nobody fell out?" Hatchet said, "I counted the people in this room, and there are _five_ people here."

He gasped, and looked around the room. He viewed the brother and sister, the woman in red, the clerk in green hair, and the angry woman in pink hair. There was also a girl in slick bright green hair, wearing headphones, and in a white racing jacket.

"That's funny…" He said, "I could've sworn I picked up four people."

Hatchet asked the clerk, "Ma'am, has anybody ever come here, before the bus stopped?"

"No, I haven't. I've only served to these people, since 11 o'clock, this morning." She said, "I see these people here, and that was it."

The driver said, "But we did! There was no one in here, since we came in!"

The second officer added, "Then how did you account for _five_ people?"

The driver said, "Well, beats me… But I can tell… ONE of them didn't get off the bus."

The second officer called, "Which one of you wasn't on the bus?"

The woman in pink called, "We were _all_ on the bus! What kind of interrogation is this? If we want to be grilled, I want to hear from my lawyer!"

The girl in bright green laughed, "That's a good one~! First, she wants snowshoes, and she now wants a lawyer."

The woman in pink glared at her, "I don't remember seeing _you_ on the bus…"

The other girl replied, "Well, I don't reckon I seen _you_ , either. Makes one of us a liar, don't it?"

She laughed, as the girl in pink scoffed, "What difference does it make? This is preposterous! I mean, does it matter if it were 5, or 6, or 120! Is this a diner, or auditions for _The Voice_?"

Hatchet said, "Take it easy, ma'am."

The clerk asked, "What's it all about, officer?"

The second officer asked, "Do you hear anything _flying_ over here, tonight?"

"Flying over here?" The clerk said, "Well, not that I know of."

The officer explained that there was a call, about two hours ago, about a woman who heard a noise, of an object flying over here and come down. Hatchet said that it might've been a UFO that came down. The clerk laughed and said, "HAH! UFO?! That's crazy! For the past 14 hours, all I saw coming down was snow. And lots of it! Where did you say came down?"

Hatchet said, "Close to here."

She explained, "LOOK! Something _did_ land in _39th Street_ , near _Gacy's Pond_! Found a trail of broken branches, and a footprint line leading to its destination!"

"To where?" The clerk asked.

"To _here_." Hatchet said, pointing down to the diner floor.

"You mean someone here landed in Gacy's Pond, and came in here?" The clerk chuckled, "You're nuts! No one has come here, since 11, this morning!"

The driver boasted, "Except for me and my passengers! Me and 4 people! Surely I can't count you, don't I?"

He then whispered, "Then… that means…"

He was worried, as the twins were frightened. The girl in orange said to her brother, "Len, I don't like this…"

Len replied, patting Rin's hand, "Easy, Sis… I'll handle this."

He boasted, "Now, let me get this straight! You're telling me that someone came here in a flying saucer, and came in here!"

The woman in red asked, "Came in here with _us_?"

The woman in pink proclaimed, "That's just not possible. We'd seen him or her."

Len stated, "That's not necessary. It's snowing, and it's dark. Anyone would've come in here, and we wouldn't even see a thing. No one noticed it."

Hatchet called out, "You're _ALL_ on the bus, together! We could've known which one of you is which."

The driver said, "I don't even know who was on the bus, to tell you the truth."

The girl in green laughed, "You kidding me? It's like some sort of sci-fi fic! A regular Ray Bradbury, or… Six digital singers and one monster from outer space. You would've happen to have eyes on your back of your skull, don't you?"

She laughed, as the driver laughed with her, as her tease was towards the woman in pink, "I find your rip offensive!"

The woman in red asked, "What will you do now, officer?"

Hatchet replied, "Look, lady. This isn't par for our course, exactly. We get to go on lousy assignments, but this one takes the cake!"

The woman explained that if it's one person, you'd eliminate the couples, seeing that Rin & Len don't count. Len proclaimed that he and Rin are exonerated. But then she suddenly stared at him, in concern.

"What's wrong?" he asked her.

She stared at his face and said, "I… I could've sworn you had a pimple on your chin."

Len said, "But Rin, I washed my face."

He then boasted, "Hey, wait a minute! If we get all panicky, everyone, including our brothers, sisters, uncles, and aunts will search out invisible clues, and try to turn on each other! I mean, this is nonsense!"

Rin replied, "Well, of course it's nonsense! I mean, how can you be sure, if the sister thinks she's the sister, and brother-."

She gasped, and stared at Len, who was very concerned and scared. Len asked, "What are you staring at for? You know me. We have the same birthday, you know."

He barked, "Now, wait a minute! I think that for 14 years, it's long enough to know who she is with. So, I'll thank you if you stop staring at me, like this is a monster mask from a party shop!"

Rin was disgusted, as the girl in green cackled, "THIS IS GREAT! He knows who she is, and she know who he is! But what about her? And him? And that pink lemonade honeysuckle? She's the suspicious one of the bunch!"

The officer asked, "Do you have a back door?"

The clerk said, "Yes. Why do you ask?"

Hatchet ordered, "I want you to lock it down."

"It's already locked." The clerk said.

"Good."

"Even so, if they are escaping through the back door, they should materialize wings, and teleport through the walls."

The girl in green cried, "CHECK FOR WINGS! ANGEL WINGS! DEVIL WINGS! HURRY! Look under the coats."

The officer asked her, "You have identification, kid?"

The girl in green, "Uh, that depends. Do you want my spaceship or my wallet?"

The woman in pink whined, "What is this, a prolonged practical joke?"

The officer asked, "Who won the _Japan Series,_ last year?"

The girl in green answered, "I know! Hokkaido! They won in 2016. Took six games against Hiroshima."

The officer asked, "Wrong! I meant 2015!"

"This _is_ 2017, right? 2015's Japan Series, won by Fukuoka, in five, from Tokyo. Trouble that those Martians have trouble with Japan's favorite sport, baseball, didn't you? Eh?"

She laughed, as the others laughed. The officer said to the woman in red, "Do _you_ have identification, madam?"

She replied, "Well, no… Unfortunately. I left my wallet… in my suitcase…"

"Your name, Miss?"

"Meiko. I'm a professional Digital Singer."

The girl in green laughed, "HEY! How many legs? Oh, how many boobs?"

MEIKO roared, "I'm gonna BELT you one, you little brat!"

The driver proclaimed, "She was on the bus!"

The officer asked, "How did you know?"

"She was the only one I noticed." He said.

MEIKO said thanks to the driver, but the same girl asked if the driver was noticed by her, proclaiming that _he_ was the same guy that drove the bus. The woman in pink protested, "Look, let's end this farce, once and for all! We'll _all_ show our identifications, and put an end to this!"

Len barked, "And how do you know which one of us is the faker?"

Rin barked, "Yeah! How can you?"

The woman in pink stated, "Well, the driver was confused. _Five_ people got on, and he thought there were only _four_."

Hatchet asked him, "Was that possible?"

The driver said, "Not a chance! I counted heads, before we took off. There were _four_ people!"

As he explained, the jukebox suddenly started to play, as everyone was concerned. The music played a very catchy tune, but stopped, after only 30 seconds. The clerk was amazed, and asked how it happened. But Hatchet said to everyone, "Well, we'll all share a laugh about this, in the morning. In the meantime, no one is leaving this diner."

Everyone was puzzled, as Hatchet said to her partner, "You know which one it is, Bailey?"

Bailey replied, "Hell if I know. They're all present, but one of them is lying. Now, the clerk is obviously not guilty."

"You're right. Let's lined them up and have everyone's names."

They ordered everyone to stay in their seats, and get everyone's names down. Snow continued to fall, as the mystery behind the imposter would traverse on.

 **XXXXX**

Minutes passed, as the clerk returned to the dining hall. She asked the driver, "Where are the police?"

He said, "Outside. The snow stopped."

He asked the clerk, "Say, Miku… That was not your gag, was it?"

She asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, did you somehow restart the jukebox, all the time, for fun and giggles?"

"Not me!" Miku replied, "I'm short order, and I get very little pay. It's a small diner, and I hardly get lots of customers. A jukebox is a jukebox, and if that thing wants to start on its own, let it! I'm not into this science fiction BS. But if it starts again, I'll have it checked with a maintenance man, once the weather subsides."

The girl in green waved to the jukebox, as the police returned. Miku asked if they'd find anything. Hatchet said that the bridge is holding well, and nothing weird happened. The driver said he doesn't trust that bridge. The woman in pink said, in relief, "Well, thank goodness we needn't concern of _your_ judgment. If you drive across the old bridge, you'll make a clean drive across the river. I know it's old, but it's better in age."

The driver decreed, "Listen, lady! You may be a big shot in Hokkaido, but when it comes to bridges and buses, I'm the seniority! And I tell you now that the bridge is so old th-!"

The lights suddenly went out and flicker back on. Rin shrieked, as Miku was worried. She asked, "A power outage?"

MEIKO asked, "What the hell is this? Is this a brownout? Why are the lights going out?"

Miku replied, "We may be losing power."

The jukebox continued playing, as Miku proclaimed that it is all weird.

MEIKO protested, "Whoever is doing this to all of us should come forward and confess! And maybe he or she will do something about it!"

Rin sobbed, "Why _don't_ they do something about it?"

Bailey said, "The point is this, Miss. We're all curious about this, as much as you do, but we know this: There _was_ a saucer, and it landed in that pond, and it came all the way here. And I'd say we want know who the person here is, just to keep him or her from leaving."

Miku said, "Makes sense. Maybe someone who came here is invisible. I mean, aliens can use a cloaking device, right?"

Hatchet said, "Exactly."

"I bet they're playing around!" Miku stated.

The woman in pink said, "That is as childish as an acute alibi."

Len replied, "Well, that's as close as an answer as we're ever going to get. But what if the thing never did show up? Should we sit here, holding our breath, or just panic?"

The girl in green smiled, "If someone did ask me-."

" _NO ONE_ did ask you… and _NO ONE_ WILL!" The woman in pink shouted.

"Why don't you leave the girl alone?" MEIKO scolded the woman in pink, as she was furious about what she did.

"Who invited you into this?" The woman in pink judged.

"Well, I didn't think there were invitations to this matter." MEIKO said, "But you have a conniption fit of bossing everybody around!"

Len said, "Look, it's tough enough, sitting here, without-."

The lights flickered on and off, again, as Len sighed, as he continued, "…without accusing people."

Rin sobbed, "Curse these lights…"

 **SMASH!  
** Rin shrieked, as the sugar exploded from the glass container, spilling all the contents in a small explosion.

 **SMASH!  
** Another exploded, near MEIKO and the bus driver. Bailey and Hatchet armed themselves with guns and looked around. Hatchet ran into the kitchen, as the girl in green was ordered to sit down, by Bailey. Just then, the phone rang. Hatchet returned, and answered the phone.

"Hello? Yeah? Yeah… I see…" she said, "What's that? It's okay? Alright, thanks."

She put the receiver away, as Hatchet stated that the bridge is okay. The woman in pink smiled and said, "Well, that is a relief. Shall we go?"

"What do you say, Bailey?" Hatchet asked her partner.

"No need to hold them." Bailey said.

The girl in green cried, "You're making a huge mistake, officer! A HUGE MISTAKE! You're letting a monster out!"

"That may well be, kid, but we can't hold in suspicion of being the monster." Bailey stated, "But you can roll them in, anytime."

The driver asked, "Alright, but are you sure about that bridge? I don't trust that bridge. It swings in the winds, and it's not a suspension bridge."

Hatchet said, "That was the _District Engineer_. He said that the bridge is declared passable. But on the safe side, we'll cross the bridge first."

Miku smiled and said, "Alright, then, before you go, please pay your bills for your stay~. Godspeed and safe travel! And I hope you come back soon… and hopefully _one less_ of you."

They got up from their table and paid for their food and coffee. MEIKO paid for her coffee, the girl in green paid for her chili, and the woman in pink had only 2 cups of coffee. And so on, as everyone went to the bus.

 **XXXXX**

MEIKO bowed and said, "Goodbye, officer, and thank you."

She stepped inside, as everyone else was already on the bus. Hatchet asked the driver, "How many?"

The driver said, "Well, I counted five."

Hatchet said, "That's right. _Five_."

The girl in green laughed, "Betcha by the time we make it to Hokkaido, it'll be _fifteen_ ~!"

She laughed, as the driver shouted, "Cut it out! I don't want to hear anymore lip from you!"

He stepped inside the bus and tipped his hat to the officer. He said, "Okay, have a safe journey."

Hatchet said, "Alright."

She went to the police car, as she said to Bailey, "Well, come on. We don't want to leave these people waiting."

Bailey turned the keys to the wheel, and the police car slowly drove off. The bus followed the police car to the bridge, as it was escorted to its destination: Hokkaido.

* * *

Hours later, the jukebox started to work again, as a figure walked to the diner. Miku greeted the guest, as she went to the counter. But she let out a puzzled look on her face and said, "What'll it be?"

The woman said, "One coffee… black… no sugar…"

Miku said, "You know, you look familiar."

She gave the cup of coffee to the woman, as she stated, "Yeah, uh, didn't you… uh… You know?"

She recognized the woman, as Miku said, "You mean… You were on that bus? You didn't step into that bus, didn't you?"

The woman said, as she brushed her pink hair with her hands, "Oh, yes. I went on that bus. And you know something? Those police officers were right about something. It's creaky, old, and it's passable. But the driver _was_ right. The bridge _wasn't_ safe. The minute the bus and the squad car crossed the river, it collapsed!"

Miku was shocked, covering her mouth in horror. The woman said, "Everyone fell… KERPLUNK! …into the river. They'll live. Nothing bad happened, just swam out and got drenched, frostbitten, and shivering. It was a terrible scene. The minute the bridge collapsed, the driver jumped out, and warned everybody, heading to the emergency exit. But everyone survived…"

"Except you." Miku said.

The woman said, "Well, they thought I died. But I got lucky, I guess, huh?"

"Very lucky… But… You're not even wet!"

The woman was dry as a bone, as she asked, "What do you mean "Wet"? What is this _wet,_ you speak of?"

Miku barked, "YOU FELL IN THE RIVER! How could you have survived, if you're not even doused in the cold river? You went into the river, and your clothes are all dry!"

The woman said, "Illusions, that is all… It's all an illusion. Just like that jukebox, over there, playing in the corner…"

She halted the music, and continued, "And the flickering lights…"

The lights in the diner started to flicker on and off, yet again, as the woman proclaimed, "or the telephone ringing…"

The phone rang again, as Miku cried, "What are you, some sort of witch?"

The woman smiled, "Who me? Hardly."

She reached for her pocket and pulled out a small cigarette with her free right arm. She then pulled out a lighter from her _second_ right arm. She placed the cigarette in her left hand and lit it with her right hand, while the third arm of hers moved the coffee cup aside, to the right of her. She then said, "Well, now before you try to faint from shock and awe of what you're about to see, I ought to tell you that my name really _isn't_ Luka. Well, not really, because, it's hard to announce, among its pronunciation of the word, though. And, I never really was going to Hokkaido."

She explained, "I was sent here as an advanced scout, from my home planet. And you know, these, uh, cigarettes, right? We never had any of these beauties in Mars. They taste great, though. And while they say that smoking is bad for you, I don't mind it, since I'm what you call in these Earth age… 21. Yes, I have heard about the new age for smoking and drinking. But I don't touch liquor.  
Anyway, you may know that the Martians are beginning to colonize. My friends will be arriving, very shortly. I think we're going to like it here. I mean, we're a peaceful race, and we don't intend to harm you Earthlings, because we all have a sort of intergalactic bonding. It's a lovely area this Japan… So remote, so tranquil, so pleasant… so off the beacon track… Just a perfect spot for a colony. Earth will understand, after all. This _is_ 2017, after all. And the world is already in shambles, with a corrupt US President, a country at war, terrorism, death and despair… Don't you think so, Miss Miku?"

Luka took a sip of her coffee and said, "Well, while we're waiting, dear, how about a little music to by the time. OH! I am not evil, you know, but… don't believe those sci-fi movies that sucked. They contradict _everything_ that stands for us aliens… and that _Twilight Zone_ episode, about how aliens eat people, with a cookbook…. Yeesh…"

Miku smiled and said, "You're okay with it, even if Earthlings are often… paranoid?"

Luka nodded and said, "Oh, yes, yes. Believe me, it's a very mean thing to do. But live and learn, and maybe… just maybe… You can understand the _real_ story behind us. After all, we're from Mars… and we're very nice."

She winked, as Miku said, "Well, that's very nice of you to say that, Luka… _if_ that's your real name. Of course, kidding aside, you're right. I've been doing a little waiting for myself, too. But you see, Miss Luka… My name really _isn't_ Miku. It's more of _Hachune_. And we do agree on one thing…"

She brushed her bangs and said, "We do agree that this is a great place to colonize… except for one thing… We folks down in Venus do learn the same thing, many years before you. But live and learn, and we agree on it."

Luka took another sip, as she said, "Beautiful. Me, a Martian, and you, a Venusian… What a wonderful way to have peace on this planet."

She extended her hand and offered her act of friendship, but Miku said, "Well, I think there's something you should know, Luka… Your friends are _never_ coming. They've been intercepted."

Luka gasped, as Miku smirked, "And, yes… There _is_ a colony coming… only… They're from Venus."

She brushed her bangs back, showing her forehead. It suddenly opened up, revealing a third eye. Miku grinned, "…and if you're still alive, by then, Luka, I think you will know how we differ."

Luka was shocked, as she was astonished. Miku smirked evilly and said, "You know, you're right about the music you play. Would you mind play the jukebox, again, and maybe we can have a little… relaxation music?"

She giggled, and then laughed evilly, as Luka was completely dumbfounded and startled, knowing that her Mars colony is not coming, but rather Miku's Venus colony, coming to the Planet Earth.

* * *

 _Incident on a small island on Earth, to be believed or disbelieved.  
However, if a beautiful and impatient dame named Luka, or a cute perky good-natured fry cook, who handles a spatula, as if she was born with one in her mouth, then if either one of those two entities walk into your premises, you'd better hold her hand – all three of them – or check the colors of her eyes – all three of them.  
The woman in question might try to pull you in… to a " **Tale of the Bizarre** "…_

* * *

 ** _Miz-K Note:_** _This fic featuring Hatsune Miku and friends is a retelling parody of "The Twilight Zone" episode "Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?". Sorry if the title was misleading, but I already made a fic with a title like that. This is a fic, based on the entire episode, only this features many a cast, including ALL six Vocaloids (plus one).  
The cast includes Hatsune Miku (the clerk/Venus Girl), Kagamine Len & Rin (Brother and Sister), KAITO (The Bus Driver), MEIKO (the innocent woman), Megurine Luka (The Mars Girl), and GUMI (the crazy girl). They all have some discreet personalities, related to the episode. However, the names remained, to avoid any conflict. The officers, however, are OCs, and have no relation to the Vocaloids._

* * *

 ** _Good night out there, wherever you are…_**


End file.
